~as the storm rolls in


Read the Printed Word!

A dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation

  • When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
  • When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
  • When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
  • When my girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
  • When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
  • When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
  • When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
  • When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
  • When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
  • When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
  • When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
  • When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
  • When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
  • Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
  • When you really want someone to go away: GET THEE TO A NUNNERY.
  • When no one will hit on you at the bar: We should be wooed, we were not made to woo!
  • When you want to bestow onto someone a totally sick burn: Excellent well, you are a fishmonger.

Source: tricksteringotham

Source: pat-attack

  • Me: Do you want any help mum?
  • Mum: No thanks sweetie.
  • *5 minutes later*
  • Mum: HONEST TO GOD IT'S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK I'D COME BACK AND YOU'D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES HONESTLY I DO SO MUCH AND I'M NOT EVEN VALUED DO YOU EVEN CARE NO YOU DON'T

Source: donaldblakes

Source: idiotsonfb

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

veiledsentiments:

spains-a-total-uke:

criticalthinkingrequired:

ATTENTION INTERNET: THIS IS A PENGUIN BEING TICKLED.

OH MY GOD ISLDGHSDLFJSDJF THAT IS ADORABLE AND AND OH MY GOD THE NOISES ESFJKHSFIREEIEWROMNL

best thing on the internet. ever.

im fucking crying. i cant even.

Source: itsxplacebo

chinupb-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l:

‘TIL THE VERY NEXT DAY BUMBUMBUMBADADADAAAAA 

chinupb-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l:

‘TIL THE VERY NEXT DAY BUMBUMBUMBADADADAAAAA 

Source: wtfdirtbag

plenilune:

operamatic | selfgeography:

Korra, Asami, Mako, and Bolin looking dapper and dashing.

HOT PEOPLE PROBLEMS

Source: selfgeography

funniest10k:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

Source: ptrparker

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

fritata:

nerf-car:

hey i just met you

and this is crazy

but here’s my number

so call me beep me if you wanna reach me

I had to hear it in song form.

Source: soundcloud.com